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Nigel Barber: Marriage Markets Explain Sexuality – And the Tea Party!

That is the gist of a new Discover article by Robert Epstein. He presents evidence that Americans are more sexually liberated when there is an excess of women relative to men at peak marrying age (in the mid-twenties). Political liberalism goes along with liberated sexuality and Tea-Party-type conservatism with prudery.

We all know that the sexual liberation of the 1960s was accompanied by a wave of political liberalism as typified by the Kennedy and Johnson administrations and student opposition to the Vietnam War.

By contrast, recent history has seen a resurgence of conservatism in politics beginning in the late 1990s and culminating in support for the Tea Party extremists. Sexual prudery has made a comeback also with censorship of sexual content on television, promotion of sexual abstinence, and renewed opposition to abortion and even contraception. Epstein explains each of these trends — and much besides — in terms of the sex ratio or proportion of males to females.

Guttentag’s insight
This explanation was introduced by sociologist Marcia Guttentag and psychologist Paul Secord who argued four decades ago that if there is a scarcity of women, they get a better deal out of marriage in terms of stable unions and economic support from husbands. Of course, this also meant that they had no career and spent much of their time at home.

Conversely, if there are too many women, their bargaining power declines. Men get what they want in the relationship, including sex without much commitment. Guttentag thus attributes the rise in premarital sexuality during the sixties to an excess of young women in the population relative to men three years older (whom they prefer as dates and husbands). This mismatch was an echo effect from the post-World-War-II baby boom.

Facing a severe scarcity of appropriately aged men, women were effectively locked in a sexual arms race with competitors. They accepted sexual intimacy without commitment in a manner that would have horrified their chaste grandmothers. Hence the arrival of the so-called sexual revolution of the sixties facilitated by effective contraception that reduced the risk of unwanted pregnancy.

Sexual liberation is nothing new. Similar “revolutions” occurred in Chaucer’s England where males were subtracted from the population due to wars and plagues and in the ancient Greek city state of Sparta where male infants were slaughtered if they seemed unsuitable material for warriors. Adult men served long spells fighting distant from home and many died.

Women in these societies were sexually assertive. Chaucer suggests that the (fictional) Wife of Bath’s sexual needs put her five husbands in the grave, for example.

The beauty of Marcia Guttentag’s insight is that it rescues sociology from the circular thinking of social trends causing themselves that is the orthodox perspective in the field. Instead, sexual liberation is interpreted as a response to objective marriage-market conditions.

Anywhere there is a severe scarcity of men, women compete over them by offering sexual intimacy without strings. Otherwise, if they are in demand themselves they will be more restrictive, possibly reserving sexual intercourse until after marriage.

This idea is simple enough. Yet, it implies a stunning level of flexibility in human sexuality in response to varied sex ratios.

Dads versus cads
One of the more remarkable discoveries about human sexuality is that both men and women adjust their mating efforts to what is available in their social environment. If college women perceive that there are plenty of ‘dads” around, they act demure and emphasize their sexual modesty according to research by Elizabeth Cashdan (3). Conversely, if they see campus males as a bunch of cads interested only in one thing, they dress provocatively and engage in casual sexual relationships with various partners.

College men also respond to the sexual tone of their campus. On a “dad” campus, they emphasize their own career potential and capacity for academic success. On a cad campus, they party hearty.

It must be obvious that the cad strategy prevails where there are more women. Being less in demand, women enter into the spirit of men’s penchant for recreational sex. On U.S. college campuses there are now only about 75 men per hundred women. So hooking up (some level of physical intimacy that lasts for just one night) has largely replaced dating (5). The sex ratio has spoken!

As to the future, Epstein predicts several decades of political moderation as the sex ratio is expected to avoid extreme swings. Relations between the sexes will be more balanced and middle-of-the road politics will prosper. Sounds good to me!


Sources

1. Epstein, R. (2012, October). Sex and the society. Discover, pp. 56-58.

2. Guttentag, M. & Secord, P. (1983). Too many women: The sex ratio question. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.

3. Barber, N. (2002). The science of romance: Secrets of the sexual brain. Amherst, NY: Prometheus.

4. Barber, N. (2008). The myth of culture: Why we need a genuine natural science of societies. Newcastle, England: Cambridge Scholars.

5. Bogle, K. (2008). Hooking up: Sex dating and relationships on campus. New York: New York University Press.



Celebrity Divorce: Lessons Stars Learned Post-Split

  • Kim Kardashian

    In October 2011, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from her <a href=”http://www.people.com/people/kim_kardashian/biography/0,,,00.html”>second husband</a> Kris Humpheries, <a href=”http://news-briefs.ew.com/2011/10/31/kim-kardashian-divorce/”>whom she was married to for just 72 days.</a> In the<a href=”http://www.instyle.co.uk/news/kim-kardashian-covers-instyles-august-issue-05-07-12″> August 2012 issue of <em>InStyle</em> UK</a>, Kardashian talked about how she’s changed since the split. custom kitchens sydney . ”I’ve always been the type to fall in love fast and, with every boyfriend, I plan out my wedding in my head,” she told the magazine. “It’s taught me to take things slow . pagina de inicio . . Nueva Escuela Argentina . . Anyone would want to move on and take the lesson learnt from it. I loved this person, it just wasn’t the right situation for me. I try to hold my head up high and live my life.”



  • Why Should I Get Married When . . . | The New Orleans Tribune …

    Im back folks. carrera de fotografia . I took some time away to get a few things in order things that I promise to elaborate on at a later date but for now, I salute you with a quick stiff head nod and a smirk. You got it? Cool.

    My good friend Anitra Brown, the enlightened editor of New Orleans Tribune, has given me the green light to continue sharing with you my weekly notes and tales about the good and bad of romance and relationships. I vow to keep these nuggets short, sometimes bitter, but most times sweet. I know you have a life and no time for nonsense.

    So on to this weeks edition

    I have a friend who has a friend who has a friend, who believes theres no reason he should EVER get married. Hes a 35 years-old a practicing attorney, socially adept, and always in the mood for a good argument. And this is his take on dating, Why should I get married when I can get everything a marriage offers without the ring?

    At first glance, these words probably remind you of the age-old saying Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? And it should. louis vuitton outlet store . But after having a very intense conversation with the brother about his outlook, I came away with something that should be very easy for both men and women to understand.

    Very few of us appreciate or cherish what we dont work hard to get. This goes for superficial things, as well as, relationships. holidays eastern cape . Here is a dude with multiple girlfriends, all performing the same duties that a proud wife would. From the bedroom to the kitchen, these women give it all! But why? I wrote in a blog years ago that dating past the age of 25 seems like an audition. You find yourself constantly proving to the other person what it would be like if you were to marry them. Now I see this line of thinking as flawed. You gotta make em earn it.

    Do you remember the first car you bought with your own cash (that wasnt loaned to you)? Im sure it was a clunker and broke down a few times, but think about how good you felt about it. That bad boy was a source of pride.

    This is the same feeling this brother will need to buy an engagement ring. The best relationships are a constant push n pull. Some call it compromise, others call it a chronic headache. Whatever the case may be, men appreciate this and consider it to be a journey because we feel like were working towards something greater.

    The woman who gets this man to say I do will be the source of as much agony as she will be pride and joy. And the interesting part is, he likely wouldnt have it any other way.



    Pmnewsnigeria.com Heartlink: Want a male or female date? | P.M. …

    Published on September 28, 2012 by   ·   No Comments

    pmnewsnigeria.com begins today a dating page, where men and women, girls and boys in search of love can connect one another. Afterall, we all need love.

    The site shall serve as the intermediary of some sorts and what we shall cherish will be for you to share your experience, especially when it leads to a very happy note.

    And we do hope that the sexes we link up will all have good stories to relate.

    If you want a man or woman of your dream, just send a mail to pmnewsnigeria.comheartlink@yahoo.com giving us a brief description of yourself, your photo, telephone number, e-mail address, the work you do, and your educational qualification. And you also state in few lines the kind of woman or man that you want.

    Our job is to provide the notice board to advertise your message. We wish you all very well.

    For starters, we are re-running the version published in P.M.NEWS Lagos edition today.

    We envisage that this interactive page will surely get better.

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    If you want to be linked with a woman or man, send your details to pmnewsnigeria.comheartlink@yahoo.com.
     

    print



    Importance of Your Challenge: Get Unstuck in Your Life 10/02 by …

    This week on Importance of Your Challenge is special guest, Nicole Abundance!

    Is a relationship with a man or woman just being to difficult? Are you feeling like you just cant attach to or attract the right person to you.

    I show people how to get unstuck in their personal and love life using various proven natural and spiritual principles that will empower them to make the changes they desire. With my Certification as a Life Coach and my knowledge and experience and intuitive insight into how relationships work, I’ve helped countless individuals in all relationship stages, married, singles, divorce, dating, breakups. richard maize . I have coached hundreds of people all around the world, men and women from all walks of life like doctors, television anchors, lawyers, single moms, marketers, individuals who are married, nurses, sales, real estate, insurance, cashiers, and so many more etc. helping them clear the blocks that stand in the way of their success. I invite you to connect with me for a free 15 minute consultation and visit my website for more information:

    http://www.facebook.com/l/hAQEagDaiAQGJJC8F4pfMtbhBHG69_-VziuWfO5gh2b_nbA/www.attractingmenmastery.com

    http://www.attractingmenmastery.com/meet-nicole/



    “Why didn’t these women find life partners by dating?” | The Life and …

    michael moers . iphone repairs adelaide . stevia .

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    Kanye West, Kim Kardashian dating, Bruce/Kris Jenner speaks …







    (ThyBlackMan.com) Well Kim Kardashian is 31 and has been divorced once, with another divorce still pending. And according to stepdad Bruce Jenner, her relationship with Kanye West won’t turn out any better.

    According to The National Enquirer, Bruce Jenner has finally stated the obvious and told Kim that she’s “making a stupid mistake” by dating Kanye West.

    “Bruce Jenner didn’t like Kanye from the start,” a “family pal” tells the mag. “He thinks he’s crass — and disrespectful!”

    But Bruce Jenner didn’t really speak up about his doubts until Kanye West recently debuted his tribute to Kim, “Perfect Bitch” — and then “Bruce Jenner blew sky-high”! So Kris Jenner isn’t the only one in the family who’s angry about “Perfect B*tch”.

    “[Bruce Jenner] told Kim Kardashian she’d better take a serious look at all her failed relationships — and figure out why she keeps falling for the wrong type  of guy,” The Enquirer’s snitch says. “Bruce Jenner said, ‘You’re never going to be in a successful relationship if you keep going out with men like Kanye West!’”

    Kim Kardashian, who was obviously “outraged,” yelled at her stepdad and then “stormed out of her parents’ home — and she’s stopped speaking to Bruce.” The truth hurts!

    Kim Kardashian’s never going to listen to Bruce Jenner, but she should. Whereas Kris only cares about money, ratings and publicity and encourages her kids to do whatever it takes to keep the family in the spotlight — including sham quickie marriages — Bruce Jenner seems like he just wants his stepchildren to be happy.

    He has admitted that he had doubts about Kim’s marriage to Kris Humphries and has also said that he questions his stepdaughters’ taste in men. And he’s got a point that Kim Kardashian is never going to have a healthy relationship until she gets help for her own issues first.

    She’s obviously a narcissist who has communication issues, and it’s been speculated that she fears both commitment and intimacy. But she probably doesn’t think she has any problems and she definitely won’t seek help, since she complained on the most recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians that she doesn’t want to talk to a stranger about her issues. But considering Kim Kardashian & Kanye West is probably just an epic publicity stunt, she might not have to worry about her problems affecting a “real” relationship for a while.

    What do you think? Is Bruce Jenner right about Kanye West? Does Kim Kardashian need therapy? Sound off in the comments!

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    From His Mother to You: How Men Learn to Treat Women – SBM

     

    Hey,

    I’m new to reading your site but I love the posts so I would like your input on something that I’ve yet to understand. I’ve always heard that the way a man treats his mother is a good indication of how he will treat you. I always assumed that to be true, but men who’ve had dysfunctional and/or nonexistent relationships with their mothers seem like an altogether different breed. Some of these men will treat women completely different than their mothers, ranging from much better to much much worse. How does a man’s relationship (or lack thereof) with his mother really effect his relationships with women?

    Does a man’s relationship with his mother reveal how he will treat women?

    When I read this question, I thought the answer would be easy. I’m usually hesitant before giving an opinion because I want to consider all the factors before responding. I’ve heard many opinions on this topic throughout the years. I don’t think the answer is as clear-cut as it would seem. As you state above, there are exceptions to the rule. There are many different scenarios where the correlation between a man’s relationship with his mother and  his relationship with his love interest aren’t analogous. I believe that examining a man’s relationship with his mother can give you a benchmark for how he will treat others, but it isn’t the end all be all of his behavioural patterns.

    Observing the relationship between mother and son will show you how a man will treat a woman who holds importance in his life. My relationship with my mother is strong. She helped to shape and mold the man I am today. I respect her, listen to her, accept any and all slander she deals me, and I know when to pick and choose my battles. As the family matriarch, her input on life issues is greatly appreciated. When I think I know it all, she will drop simple yet effective knowledge that opens my eyes and shows me where I need to go. At the same time, she is my mom, and she can press when pressing isn’t required. She can reiterate things to me that I’m clear about a zillion times over, because she wants to make sure she can hit me upside the head with an “I told you so” if I eff up. I love her as a mom, a person, and as family. When I think to my relationships with women, I carry a lot of these acquired principles into them. Ask any man whose ever had a serious relationship with a woman, and he will confirm that the core principles I described above are very important in their dealings with significant others.

    My mom would always tell me that a woman would judge HER and me if certain aspects of my life weren’t tight. If I couldn’t make a bed, keep proper hygiene, was disrespectful to women, etc. a woman would side eye my upbringing. I see these bad ass kids who curse out their mothers and treat them like sh*t, and the first thought in my head is “If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want her dating no parts of THAT dude!”

    I kept these lessons close to heart and made sure that when I dealt with women, that I tried my best to be respectful, because my mom raised me right. At the same time, I’m not one of those freaks that wants a mother figure as my wife. In other words, I don’t want to date my mom! A man’s relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. Men will challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their mom. Men will compromise in different ways with a mom as opposed to another woman. Dating a woman is a partnership. Interactions with your mom can be a partnership, dictatorship, totalitarian, authoritative, or other adjective that illustrates one of Bill Cosby’s famous quotes to Theo Huxtable:

    I brought you into this world, and I can take you OUT!

    There’s a flip side to this debate as well. I know of dudes who treat their mother like gold and women like dirt. I know of men who had no mother figure in their life who treat women with the utmost respect. That mother-son relationship isn’t the only measurement for how a man will treat a woman, and there are exceptions. Knowledge of a mother and son’s relationship can give you additional insight into how he treats women but will never divulge the entire truth. I wouldn’t use that information as the ultimate factor in how you evaluate a man’s capacity for dealing with women he dates. We are human. We will pick and choose how we treat people. Some people will hold more importance than others. A man may respect you as a woman, but not hold your relationship as lovers in high regard.

    I’m thankful for the life lessons my parents taught me. I also know that their lessons weren’t the only lessons I learned. I learned from family, friends, coworkers, and every relationship I’ve had in my life. A man’s relationship with his mother will give you some insight but not all. See how he treats people in general, from the waiters at a restaurant to the person he respects the most. The more information you have the better. If he shows you who he is, believe him, and act accordingly.

    – Streetz

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    last post – Talk About Marriage

    WAIWERA, I certainly don’t want get married then be here complaining about sexless marriage.
    Didn’t realise before being in this situation how much lack of intimacy poisons a relationship.
    Im my prior marriage sex was not an issue, so I had no idea how much a lack of it has the potential to destroy all that is good between 2 people who love each other.
    Read somewhere that sex is only 10% of a marriage when it is good and 90% when its bad. Thats a pretty accurate statement.

    Well I am trying with the therapist, and trying to keep my cool, and over past few weeks went out on Friday night without her, and didnt come back till sat afternoon. distribuidor mayorista bijouterie . Trying to get her to wake up and realise Im getting bored and frustrated.

    I have been getting pretty pissed lately and have raised my voice and argued with her and said somethings that have been hurtful and insulting to her. I am ashamed of that but its so frustrating and
    I feel so rejected and betrayed that I lash out to make her feel the same….but this is likley making things worse. ( he who looks hungry won’t get fed…or laid for that matter )

    We had sex last thursday after therapist suggested it and to her credit she did initiate, with oral, I think she wanted to just give me oral and get it over with quickly but I told her I wanted her and so we did do it but it was mediocre…nothing like it was a year earlier, but still it was good start. michael moers . I told her on friday I would like to do it again, as her sons Bday party was on sat nite and she agreed.
    However she didn’t want to do much foreplay and for me to get her stimulated and in the mood, she just wanted me to start, it felt almost rushed she did orgasm but before i finished she said it was hurting too much so I used some astraglide but she said she it felt funny so I just stopped …its not a turn on when the other is not into it..it was just a disaster and I was quite pissed but just walked out of the room and didnt say anything to her and then went to sleep.
    Next nite was her sons birthday party so she needed help driving a bunch of children to Chuckie cheese type place and for me to help chaperone party. locales de maquillaje . I had to work so I went in extra early got work done made it back did all that was needed to be done…all in all pretty boring way for me to spend sat nite, only did it cause I love this women and its her child.
    After all the festivities were done, and kids sleeping I initiated and she was too tired…thats when I got pissed and spoke pretty harshly and mean to her ( i was still pretty hurt about nite before and now after going in to work super early and giving up my time and paying for part for her childs party, I felt somwhat used)

    Again Im getting from reading some of the posts that getting angry and yelling is not going to help my cause, no matter how many chores I have done, or how nice I’ve been.
    Again sunday nite nothing and again I let her know I wasn’t happy.

    The whole thing just sucks…this is no way to friggin live.
    Trying to strategise and play damn head games to make love to one’s partner, is just makes no sense .

    Well I left Monday to go out of town to work for the next 7 days.
    we had a nice monday morning before I left …just coffee and chatted but before I left I told her she had just blown and wasted the weekend and was damaging the relationship. I truly feel the whole frigging weekend was a waste, we’re seeing a therapist, and are on the ropes here and she’s going to put very little effort into fixing it.
    Later in the day sent her a nasty text message, and neither of us has called past 2 days.

    Dont know what to do now…should I apoligise for being a jerk and mean ?? My heart wants to do that, cause she was looking so sad and teary when I left, my brain on the other hand is telling me: no way, she knew exactly how I would react to being avoided and ignored, and I may not call her till i return next week.

    Am I handling this all wrong and flying off the handle and being “insensitive ” Is there a “right” way to deal with this ?
    I do care for this woman , and want her in my life but I don’t want to be miserable and angry all the time.
    Don’t really know how to proceed…..i did read that fellow T2′s Plan, interesting thread but I can’t do a 3 year plan.



    It’s not always men suffering in sexless marriages

    So many posts about how men are the ones that are on the wrong end of a sexless marriage but there are also so many women suffering in this loveless/sexless void.

    Not sure what I am trying to achieve here but after reading yet another post that came from the POV that it is men that suffer this way I just have to set something straight.

    There are many, many, many women that are in sexless marriages not of their choosing. It is extremely demoralising and for women this issue goes very deep. It is not considered the norm for women to be the HD or to be rejected sexually by their spouses.

    I think this perception is a hang over from the days where women were considered to have much lower drives than men but we now know that women are as sexual and at times more so than men. So when a woman is rejected by her husband it cuts so deeply, there are no words to describe it.

    If only I knew then what I know now, if only it had of been discussed with me that I am worthy of a great, fulfilling sex life then just maybe I would have moved on much sooner instead of putting up and shutting up. locales de maquillaje . michael moers . I thought I was the only woman in the world who’s husband did not have sex with her.

    I just want people to know that this is a universal issue, men and women suffer greatly because of it, self esteem is eroded and feelings of self hatred start to set in. herve leger dress .

    This is not to take away from the pain a sexless marriage causes men, I am dating a man that went through this so yes I understand.

    Life is short, I am incredibly happy now and yes there is life after a sexless marriage



    Monthly Archives: September 2012

    Nigel Barber: Marriage Markets Explain Sexuality – And the Tea Party!

    That is the gist of a new Discover article by Robert Epstein. He presents evidence that Americans are more sexually liberated when there is an excess of women relative to men at peak marrying age (in the mid-twenties). Political liberalism goes along with liberated sexuality and Tea-Party-type conservatism with prudery. We all know that the … Continue reading

    Celebrity Divorce: Lessons Stars Learned Post-Split

    Kim Kardashian In October 2011, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from her <a href=”http://www.people.com/people/kim_kardashian/biography/0,,,00.html”>second husband</a> Kris Humpheries, <a href=”http://news-briefs.ew.com/2011/10/31/kim-kardashian-divorce/”>whom she was married to for just 72 days.</a> In the<a href=”http://www.instyle.co.uk/news/kim-kardashian-covers-instyles-august-issue-05-07-12″> August 2012 issue of <em>InStyle</em> UK</a>, Kardashian talked about how she’s changed since the split. custom kitchens sydney . ”I’ve always been the type to … Continue reading

    Why Should I Get Married When . . . | The New Orleans Tribune …

    Im back folks. carrera de fotografia . I took some time away to get a few things in order things that I promise to elaborate on at a later date but for now, I salute you with a quick stiff head nod and a smirk. You got it? Cool. My good friend Anitra Brown, the … Continue reading

    Pmnewsnigeria.com Heartlink: Want a male or female date? | P.M. …

    Published on September 28, 2012 by pmnews   ·   No Comments pmnewsnigeria.com begins today a dating page, where men and women, girls and boys in search of love can connect one another. Afterall, we all need love. The site shall serve as the intermediary of some sorts and what we shall cherish will be for you … Continue reading

    Importance of Your Challenge: Get Unstuck in Your Life 10/02 by …

    This week on Importance of Your Challenge is special guest, Nicole Abundance! Is a relationship with a man or woman just being to difficult? Are you feeling like you just cant attach to or attract the right person to you. I show people how to get unstuck in their personal and love life using various … Continue reading

    “Why didn’t these women find life partners by dating?” | The Life and …

    michael moers . iphone repairs adelaide . stevia . Related Posts:

    Kanye West, Kim Kardashian dating, Bruce/Kris Jenner speaks …

    Leave a Comment (ThyBlackMan.com) Well Kim Kardashian is 31 and has been divorced once, with another divorce still pending. And according to stepdad Bruce Jenner, her relationship with Kanye West won’t turn out any better. According to The National … Continue reading

    From His Mother to You: How Men Learn to Treat Women – SBM

      Hey, I’m new to reading your site but I love the posts so I would like your input on something that I’ve yet to understand. I’ve always heard that the way a man treats his mother is a good indication of how he will treat you. I always assumed that to be true, but … Continue reading

    last post – Talk About Marriage

    WAIWERA, I certainly don’t want get married then be here complaining about sexless marriage. Didn’t realise before being in this situation how much lack of intimacy poisons a relationship. Im my prior marriage sex was not an issue, so I had no idea how much a lack of it has the potential to destroy all that is … Continue reading

    It’s not always men suffering in sexless marriages

    So many posts about how men are the ones that are on the wrong end of a sexless marriage but there are also so many women suffering in this loveless/sexless void. Not sure what I am trying to achieve here but after reading yet another post that came from the POV that it is men … Continue reading